Hey girl,

Let’s be real for a second. I love a girl who can admit that dealing with Black kinky hair is not all rainbows and roses. Honestly, I even admire the girls who are bold enough to say they hate their hair. Why? Because honesty is powerful. Being real about how you feel creates space for actual conversations, and maybe even the beginning of healing your relationship with your hair.

So if you’ve ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, or just plain tired of your hair, you’re not alone. And you’re not wrong for feeling that way. This space is for us to talk about all of it: the good, the bad, and the tangled.

I Hated My Kinky Hair

For the longest time, I haated my hair. I don’t know my exact hair type, but I think it’s somewhere around 4b. People always tell me how beautiful it is, but I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see past the difficulty of taking care of it.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve slowly fallen in love with it. Is it easier to manage now? Not really. But my mindset has changed—and that made all the difference. So let’s talk about that.

Accept the difficulties

I’ve accepted that kinky hair doesn’t have to be easy for me to love and appreciate its beauty and uniqueness. Think about it. Sometimes the people we love aren’t easy to deal with either, right? But we still love them.

For me, the biggest shift was in my mindset. Once you change how you think about your kinky hair, you’ll be ready for the next steps.

Be pateince

Now that you know it might not magically become low-mainterrorenance, you’ll need to be patient. Like, really patient. Learning how to do your hair takes time and trial and error.

Identify Your Goals

What do you want for your hair? Do you want length? Volume? Healthier curls? Less breakage? Being clear about your hair goals will help you stay focused when the journey gets frustrating. Especially with kinky hair, having a clear vision can make all the difference when things get tough.

Learn Your Hair Type

Knowing your curl pattern can help guide you to the right products and techniques, but don’t let it box you in. Your hair is unique. What works for someone else with “4A” hair might not work for you, and that’s okay.

Educate Yourself

Seriously, YouTube, books, blogs (like this one!), and natural hair stylists… so many resources are out there. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to care for your hair.

Protective Styles

Protective styles can be game-changers, but they’re not one-size-fits-all. Try different styles, switch things up, and most importantly, do what works for your hair. Whether that’s braids, twists, wigs, or a simple low-manipulation wash-and-go, the right choice depends on what your beautiful kinky hair needs most.

Final Thoughts

Alright, girl, go out there and be great! Remember that the end of the day, loving your hair is a journey. And like any real relationship, it comes with highs, lows, and a lot of learning. But it’s so worth it.

Have you ever struggled with your natural hair? What’s helped you fall more in love with it? Let’s talk in the comments

For more honest, heart-to-heart chats, check out my other blog posts.