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For Single Women: 7 Lessons from 7 Years of Singleness

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Minimalist line art illustration of a woman's face adorned with blooming flowers and leaves, surrounded by fluttering butterflies, emphasizing natural beauty, elegance, and the harmony between femininity and nature. Minimalist line art illustration of a single woman's face adorned with blooming flowers and leaves, surrounded by fluttering butterflies, emphasizing natural beauty, elegance, and the harmony between femininity and nature. This artwork celebrates single women, highlighting their growth, transformation, and grace through intricate floral details and delicate butterflies.

Hey girl, whew. I know!! Seven whole years. Cry with me. I’m joking.

But I know.

Singleness is often seen as a waiting room for marriage, but after seven years of being single, I’ve realized it’s so much more than that. These years have shaped me and taught me so many lessons that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

I’ve been through all the stages—from not wanting to talk to anyone to questioning my worth, to wondering if I’m weird or if I’ll ever get married.

I might not know a lot, but I know a little something from experience that I want to share with you. To all my single women going through it, listen up!

Table of Contents
  1. 1. Put God First
  2. 2. Single But Not Desperate
  3. 3. Take Care of Yourself
  4. 4. Singleness is not a trap
  5. 5. Loneliness Is Natural
  6. 6. I’m Not Perfect
  7. 7. Don’t Just Wait
  8. Final Thoughts
  9. You’ll also love

1. Put God First

Don’t run just yet.

It sounds cliché, but it’s true—God has to come first.

The Bible tells us to seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto us (Matthew 6:33). I’m still not the best at this, but I have found it to be true. God knows exactly what you need and when you need it. When you are fixed on Him, He will supply your needs at the right time.

When you focus on God and seek His ways, you will have the wisdom to navigate all types of situations. He will keep you—whether as a single or a married woman—and protect you from relationships and situations that could harm you because you won’t be seeking fulfillment from external sources.

2. Single But Not Desperate

Single women, listen up: Desperation is never attractive, and trust me, people can tell when you’re settling for anything that breathes. Have standards, and stick to them. When you know your worth, you won’t entertain people who don’t align with your values just because you’re afraid of being alone. Desperation clouds judgment—don’t let loneliness trick you into choosing the wrong person. It’s not cute on you, sis.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Your single years are the perfect time to invest in yourself. Take care of your body, your mind, and your emotional health. Build a life you love rather than waiting for someone to build it for you. Travel, pick up new hobbies, go to therapy, and treat yourself the way you want your future partner to treat you.

A lot of people take care of themselves just to attract a man, but when you get in the habit of taking care of your body because it’s valuable and you are made in God’s image, you are less likely to run the risk of getting comfortable and “letting yourself go.”

4. Singleness is not a trap

We women love a good fairytale, and that’s why many of us idolize marriage. I desire marriage too, but I’ve realized that many single women put it on a pedestal, believing it will magically transform their lives. We picture only the good, creating a perfect image in our minds.

Yes, two are better than one, but marriage is still life—with challenges, responsibilities, and imperfect people.

Marriage is beautiful, but it’s not the purpose of life. Singleness isn’t a punishment—it’s also life. It might be a season, but it’s a full life nonetheless. Live fully now, because life doesn’t start when you get married; it’s happening right now.

Loneliness is normal, it’s natural.

5. Loneliness Is Natural

I try to have a balanced mindset when it comes to being single and my desire for marriage. I don’t want to go too hard on the “decenter men” content, lol, and I don’t want to let my desire for love take over my life. So, I can fully admit there have been moments (a lot) when I’ve felt lonely—when I just want to share my day with someone, apart from friends and family, when I wish I had my person when I just want to go on a date. And that’s okay. Loneliness is normal, it’s natural.

As single women, we shouldn’t feel guilty for that. It’s a human emotion, not a sign that something is wrong with us. Instead of running from it or making bad relationship choices because of it, I’ve learned to sit with it, pray through it, pray for companionship, and use it as an opportunity to grow.

Tip: Find your own way of working through loneliness, and find a support system where you can be vulnerable about these emotions.

6. I’m Not Perfect

Singleness has forced me to take a hard look at myself. I’ve realized I have habits and flaws that need work. The man I want won’t be perfect, and neither will I. The key is learning to self-reflect, grow, and become the kind of person I’d want to marry.

What areas of your life do you struggle with,

whether mentally, spiritually, financially,

or otherwise, and how are you working on these areas?

HWFM Guided Journal

7. Don’t Just Wait

Pray about it, put yourself out there, and don’t be weird about it. It’s okay to have conversations without immediately thinking about your wedding date. Get involved in your community, meet new people, and trust that God will align your path with the right person in His time. And not every man that says hi is your husband. Just had to add that… *being petty because I relate“*.

Final Thoughts

Alright girl, go out there and be great. Remember, singleness is not a waiting room for marriage, it’s still a full life. While it’s okay to desire love, don’t let it consume you. Seek God first, prioritize your well-being, and live fully in the present. Trust that when the time is right, God will align your path with the right person. But if that doesn’t happen on your timeline, that’s okay too—your life is still beautiful and meaningful, just as you are.

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One response to “For Single Women: 7 Lessons from 7 Years of Singleness”

  1. […] just feels like another day to me. I love seeing others celebrate, though! But I know a lot of single women who enjoy celebrating but don’t have anyone to celebrate with. That’s where a solo date comes […]

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